


The Things I've Always Meant To Say But Never Have

by Maggie1967



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drunk John, Johnlock Fluff, M/M, Pining John, Sherlock Holmes and Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:25:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1195023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maggie1967/pseuds/Maggie1967
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John finally finds the courage to tell Sherlock all the things he has always found it difficult to say.Is Sherlock willing to listen though?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things I've Always Meant To Say But Never Have

I used to think it was the lure of the case that kept me at your side.I used to tell myself that you were the means to a dangerous end.A way to satisfy the unquenchable thirst of the soldier in me.It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that you are not a means to an end.You ARE my end and my beginning.It’s you that makes me live Sherlock Holmes.You really bloody do make this world worth living in,NOT the cases you dangle in front of me like bait because you’re terrified if you don’t keep supplying my fix,I’ll leave your side one day.-JW

After you ‘died’,it wasn’t the running around London late at night that I missed,it was the person whose footsteps I couldn’t hear next to mine anymore.After I got married,it wasn’t the thrill of the chase or the blood pumping trough my veins that I longed for and even dreamt about. It was just you who I desperately wanted to be standing next to,fighting against the injustices of the world.You keep me right Sherlock Holmes and I will remain by your side.Not until the day you decide to hang up your deerstalker and magnifier for good but until the very last day.-JW

That’s what I’ve needed to say to you.That’s what I’ve always found difficult to say to you.I couldn’t articulate what this exactly is between us into words before.Not with you always bloody staring at me with that look,that condescending, piercing look of scrutiny you do so well.I would…I have crumbled under that gaze before.It’s taken me a long time to write this in the way I always meant to say it to you.Months in fact.I mean how do you begin that conversation with someone who has been your friend first.The best of friends.How do you tell that person,’I quite fancy the prospect of me and you finally putting a label on this weird set up we have and making some sort of verbal commitment to one another’.When is there ever a good time for that conversation?Especially when the person you need to say it to is Sherlock bloody Holmes.Anyway, I’m sorry to send this to you in a text but a letter seemed too formal for my liking,an email or facebook message not formal enough for your liking.-JW

Sherlock incase it wasn’t clear from the last three over the top soppy texts I sent you,what this all means in a nutshell is,I’m as in love with you as one human being can possibly be with another.-JW

That doesn’t mean I expect us to …you know…do stuff.God this is awful.Is love meant to make you feel this embarrassed,unsure of yourself,fantastic and yet bloody sick with worry that you’ve fucked everything up with the one person you care about above all others?If it is then it turns out i’ve never actually really been properly in love until now.Is it meant to make you feel like you’ve turned into a sodding sentimental yet slightly pervy cock? -JW

This is why I bottle up my deepest emotions.I remember why I do it now.It’s to prevent catastrophes like the one developing in front of us because I don’t know when to keep my mouth shut -JW

You know that thing facebook has?The thing when a person writes a message. You can see if they’ve read it or not and what time they read it at.Phones should have that.-JW

Not that I think that you have saw my messages and are ignoring them.Or that you are now arranging (through Mycroft) to leave the country,rather than have to talk to your mental stalker and likely ex sex pest best friend ever again.The tosser who has just admitted to his only proper friend that he fancies everything about him.-JW  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shwerlock I MIT ave gotted a wee but druk wif Grog-JW

Wi cant ewe fanky me-JW

——————————— ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
John I have just got back from a case and have been welcomed by the sight in our living room of you and Lestrade lying passed out on my chair and yours.As I was trying to ignore you both and get dressed for bed, I happened to finally turn my phone on.Ten messages John …..really? What could be this important and yet not important enough for you to not go out and get yourself inebriated with Lestrade of all people- SH

…..I see….well this is ….unexpected..-SH

I’m glad you did not send an email or put these messages on facebook as I rarely check those mediums.The likelihood would have been that I would not have read them for at least a week and in that time you would have assumed I was simply ignoring the situation through indifference or fear.Ridiculous really John,as I can assure you that when it comes to my feelings for you,I feel neither emotion. -SH

This is hardly a ‘catastrophe’ John-Sh

Moran trying to blow up parliament and us with it was a catastrophe.You making me watch that horrendous Essex programme with you on Tuesday night was a Catastrophe.This is Nowhere near as upsetting as those things-SH

It’s not upsetting to me at all-SH

The logistics of adapting a text messaging service that can pin point,record and relay to an individual ,exactly the moment when someone has opened and read their texts,is in no way impossible but makes no financial sense to phone companies.-SH

Especially when the majority of phones ( your archaic model the exception) now have Internet capabilities and can easily access websites like facebook (if messaging others in such a precise and calculated manner is required).-SH

Lestrade has said Molly’s name three times in his sleep.The last one sounded sexual in nature.What do you think that means John?-SH

Do you think it means Lestrade ‘fancies’ Molly now.How dull and obvious for him to pick her to be the object of his desire-SH

I do not mean that for friends to develop feelings for one another it should always be considered dull,obvious and inevitable.-SH

I meant that since she is always in his company now through work related instances,increased exposure has naturally meant that Lestrade has began looking at her more and more like a potential mate-SH

Her personality must be very agreeable to him though-SH

He must also think very highly of her as a person-SH

He must have grew to care very deeply about her over their acquaintance -SH

He is likely madly in love with her and finds that he can often go through a day not able to think of anything else except his cases and her-SH

I retract my initial statement.This is not boring at all.It’s wonderful.I hope they marry-SH

And have satisfying sexual intercourse on a regular basis-SH

John I am going to bed now.I have left a glass of water and two aspirin on the table next to your chair.Gavin can get his own.-SH

I have also set the alarm on your phone for half past seven.That should give you plenty of time before work to shower and have a cup of tea -SH

John if it hasn’t been clear from the texts I’ve sent you,what this all means in a nutshell is….I’m equally as in love with you as you are with me-SH

Don’t forget to kiss me before you leave tomorrow-SH

I've set a reminder for that also-SH   
—————————————————————————————————————————


End file.
